Tips for Having Difficult Conversations With Your Adult Children

From time to time, you have to address the topics you would probably rather avoid on a general day. For instance, talking with your child about the amount of rent they’ll pay you, even if it’s much cheaper than anything they’d find elsewhere, can be important when they’re an adult, living with you, and earning full-time. It’s never nice to tell your child they need to pay you for provisions they’ve been enjoying, but it’s only fair, and in most cases, they will understand and dutifully come to that agreement.


It can be even tougher to have these conversations when they concern you. As you get older, and you have a little property or some savings, it’s important to discuss what might happen if you’re no longer here. This way, your family can avoid the long-form sense of worry and dread, and instead know that arrangements have been made. There’s a peace and a sense of comfort that comes from this because it’s often the unknown that makes us worry most of all.


But how can we schedule and format conversations like this within the family? In this post, we’ll discuss that and more:


Schedule An Allotment Of Time, & Discuss The Conversations Topic


You’re going to need a little time to discuss the topic, and it can be an appointment you circle around until you actually make some plans to do so. For this reason, we’d recommend scheduling those frank but respectful conversations for a specific time, when everyone can get together, and you can dedicate an afternoon without distractions. Get everyone on the same page, and you’ll be able to make a good amount of progress.


Use A Speaker Symbol


It’s good to use a stick or symbol for talking so that people don’t talk over one another, and everyone has a chance to discuss their points of view. Otherwise, even when you have no disagreements, not everyone will be able to voice their opinion. Make sure that those who wish to express their point of view are given this item, it might be a pillow or a teddy bear – whatever is on hand. When they hold it, no one else must speak. It’s a good way to ensure tough conversations can be consistent, and everyone feels they have room enough to talk.


Clear, Consistent Goals Help


Have a goal for the conversation. You might be discussing your living situation when you become elderly, your wishes for cremation, and the particulars of the service, and discuss some elements of your will so everyone understands your intentions and won’t be blindsided by surprises. You might talk about your wishes to move closer to your family that has moved away. It might be that you need more help around the house, or perhaps you can’t afford to keep your current home and have been thinking about downsizing. Set a goal, information you wish to convey, and considerations you wish to agree upon. It’s okay if this takes more than one conversation, but at least you’ll always have been the person to give the courtesy of dialogue.


With this advice, we hope you can schedule a time to have those difficult conversations with your family; in the best possible way.

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