Dealing with any kind of loss is exceptionally difficult and can be a stressful time for all involved, especially if you have a family or you are the only living relative. There are most likely lawyers to deal with paperwork that can take up a lot of time and make you feel as if you have a million and one things to do. When your relative or loved one passes away, there will be a few things to be careful of and look into when you are sorting through all the paperwork. Not only are you grieving and feeling bombarded with emotions but there are also many practical things to take care of. It can be difficult and you can incur hidden costs along the way, some of these include inheritance taxes, lawyer fees and more which can be hefty and take the money away from your full inheritance. You need to be vigilant and stay on top of things which can be difficult when you’re mourning but it will make life much easier in the long run. Especially if you have a full-time job, you are going to want to look at dealing with things in a timely way and promptly so it doesn’t interrupt your lifestyle or your mental health. Of course, mental health comes first.

 

Do they have a will?

 

If your loved one has a will, it may just be that there are things that you flag up that you do not think are right or maybe you want to contest it in some way.  These regulations will vary from location to location and you will need to check local laws but filing for a will contest is not difficult at all. If a relative has an owned property, then that is most likely going to be passed down to you but if they do not, then any property they have lived in cannot be claimed for. If you wish to take control of your loved one’s account, you will need to ensure you have all the correct documents to claim this and this may include three types of identification, as well as their death certificate to prove that there is no fraud occurring with their account. It is so important to let all close relatives tell you where they keep their financial documents so take time to have these conversations with them at some point. Even if it seems a difficult conversation, it’s important to get things in order as soon as you can to avoid difficulties. 

 

If your loved one has any outstanding debts from their credit cards or bills, this will become what is known as a liability on their estate. They will have to pay those debts still which will be deducted from the estate; which would leave you with less in the long run; and it is something to be aware of. If there is no estate money left, then the debts will be abolished but this is something that you talk to your lawyers about when moving forward. Any kind of furniture, belongings inside their estate must be removed legally and not by yourself and it may be a bit of a difficult thing to overcome as you will want to look through your relative’s belongings but it must be done in a professional way if this is classed as their assets. 

Further Reading

Why You Need a POD

Do I Need a Lawyer for Probate?

What To Do When a Loved One Passes Away

 

 

How can I cope with grief? 

 

If you’re struggling, you may not even realize that you are, because life is going so fast and there is no time to catch up. We often forget to think of ourselves in a time of grief when we are dealing with the responsibilities and maybe a job and a family. So it’s vital to learn to appreciate the importance of taking care of you and dealing with the loss and not letting anxiety win. You can look at doing some things to assist you with grief such as: 

 

  1. Heal together. Hibbert stressed the importance of families working through their grief together.
  2. Acknowledge your feelings. Avoid ignoring, escaping, pretending or burying your feelings, and don’t shut yourself away. 
  3. Give yourself time to grieve and even take time off work if this will help. 
  4. Engage in healthy activities such as sports and other team activities and things that will help distract you. 
  5. Practice deep breathing and meditation as well as mindfulness which will adi with stress.
  6. Seek counseling if you need it, as this can be so important. 
  7. Learn to remember the beautiful memories.

 

There are plenty of companies that allow you to make special mementos from your loved one’s ashes. You can turn their ashes into beautiful jewelry which you can always wear, a beautiful addition to your life which will mean your loved one is always with you. There are things such as unique cremation jewelry for ashes.  It’s important to remember that your loved one is always with you. It’s also important to remember that grief affects us all in different ways and it is OK to feel these emotions. 

 

Grief is very personal; no one can tell you how to do it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Click To Tweet

 

“The emotions you experience look similar to grief – and underneath that grief are neurological changes that take place in the brain.” says therapist Henry Ford. “These involve emotional regulation, memory, multi-tasking, organization, and learning. When you’re grieving, a flood of neurochemicals and hormones dance around in your head.” when we do not take the time to grieve, things get worse so remember that keeping distracted and focusing on the good in your life will assist. If you have a family you may find that you’re struggling to catch up. It’s ok to ask for help and there are plenty of people who are there and will offer you the advice and help that you need in these times. Don’t suffer alone and try to be as prepared as possible for what to expect as well as dealing with grief in a healthy and natural way. It isn’t easy but it doesn’t have to be difficult either. Take time for you. 


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Over 50 and fabulous living and writing in Appalachia

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