Last updated on August 20th, 2019
There are several layers to Anomaly, some that the naked mind may not pick up on..
First, the storm painted around my left eye represents the storm inside my mind, a storm that’s been thundering since day one. I wanted you to see what has always been hidden away inside. My best friend, Coryn, is the master artist behind that storm. She was able to take my vision and paint it on my face. The perfect storm created from eyeshadows and white liquid eyeliner.
Purple, this was a definite when creating Anomaly, it just ran through every thought. Purple means creativity, wisdom, power, and magic. These being the traits that I wanted stitched into every conjured up piece. It also happens to be my favorite color, a color I feel a sense of calm from.
The tempo of Anomaly needed to be a balance of discomfort and a warm hug. While I needed the calm purple thoughts to intertwine, I wanted to make your mind think, open up and possibly even transform a bit. I wanted to dance with you under the eery silence of the beautiful midnight sky.
The scent of Anomaly is a soothing mix of cinnamon and vanilla..yes, I actually smelled these two comforting scents while writing Anomaly. My senses are kinda crazy, but when writing any new piece, my senses starting spinning. I don’t just picture how my writing is going to look, I hear and feel the entire process. Which brings me to the reasoning as to why I always curate a playlist to my work, why I place a lyrical quote at the end of each piece… Music has always calmed my overdriven mind, even as a baby. Music calms, it inspires, it brings my world together, it keeps me intact. Music doesn’t just cause you to shake what your Mama gave you, it heals the wounds that are hidden inside. Music is writing in motion.
What can I say…my mind is an anomaly.
When you look up the definition of this uncommonly used word, it translates to something different from the “normal” and quite honestly, that is the best and only way I could describe my life and even who I am.
It is a weirdly satisfying feeling when you have completely pulled the dark and uncomfortable thoughts from the storm inside of your brain. Conjuring up the idea to do so and the actual process of extraction from the brain to the laptop, however, is terrifying. The thought that one day the outside world would be introduced to the monsters in my head and even have an opinion about them, is well, kind of unfathomable.
Every molecule in my brain told me not to be so open, not to share this part of me. Let’s face it, while this world is beautiful in its 4k brillance, there are moments when a switch is flipped and the cold darkness rushes through. As tightly knit we are as a human race, we are also equally divided, especially these days. Smash Mouth had it right all of those years ago, “It’s the end of the world as we know it…”.
No matter how loudly my brain screamed at me to not enter this adventure, my heart screamed louder for me to jump and start typing (a megaphone always makes a profound statement lol). So, with a long deep breath and one final doubtful thought, I grabbed an iced coffee, my laptop, headphones and released the Gremlins in my head.
There were two main focuses when jumping down this rabbit hole..firstly, I wanted to be completely open with every thought that I decided to share. A “no holds bar”, even if it made every bone in my body uncomfortable, which it did lol. See, I have always believed that it is within the uncomfortable that we really learn and grow, unfiltered. We have all heard this before, but how true it is..”glow sticks can’t glow without darkness.”.
Secondly, I wanted Anomaly to read as though you and I are just two friends sitting in a coffee shop, getting lost in conversation and cold brew coffees with vanilla sweet cream. I wanted anyone who ended up coming across Anomaly to know that they’re not in any way alone, that while our battles may differ slightly or while the generations may span out, I know…I get it.
It is so important to continue the mental health conversation, it is so important to continue to shine that 80-watt bulb on the monsters of Anxiety, Depression, and Suicide. This will never be a “one and done” convo, continuing the chat and spreading the awareness is what’s going to continue to lessen and hopefully end the stigma against mental health.
To those who fight these battles, I say this to you…Never be ashamed…Never hide your marvelous self and Never be quiet about your mental health.
To the world, we all have a battle we are dealing with, they differ in type and size, but these battles are being fought. With this knowledge, we should all have a more understanding mind.
It’s 3am…While most minds are in a blissful state of slumber, mine is wide awake conjuring and pondering endless thoughts. Eyes are fixated on the dark popcorn ceiling above and ears are soaking in blue tunes as my autopilot mind becomes overwhelmed with the past, future and every cherry topped dream in between.
These thoughts range from warm and fuzzy to dark and slightly crippling. Sometimes I wish that my mind had an off switch so that I could power down at night. No such luck. So, wakie wakie! Grab yourself a coffee and a snack because it’s 3am and I have so many thoughts to share with you.