Death as Transformation

Death as Transformation


I have been exploring the idea of Death in my writing. Death as a transformative power, a transition and how after death we must re-create ourselves. When I moved to West Virginia 25 years ago I experienced the death of a relationship and had to recreate myself. I changed a great deal from the person I was before I moved. Now I am changing myself again, transitioning into midlife. Life without young children. I am struggling to redefine myself. I am not longer the “Mom”. Being a Mom is no longer my primary identity. I am now going through a transformation into becoming me as a woman who is no longer the mom. I am having to figure out exactly what it is I want to do with my life. I was Mom for more of my life then I was not, so I am not sure exactly what I am supposed to do now. I am trying to remember who I was before kids and it’s difficult. I know I always wanted to be a writer. I also wanted to be a ballerina, an opera singer, and an artist. Never when I was young did I say I want to be a social worker or a community organizer. Even though I was definitely the little organizer and a natural leader in any group I was part of. Part of my breakdown this year was that I was so burnt out on my work and did not know how to do something else. I was afraid of taking that leap of faith that would result in me no longer running my nonprofit and focusing on defining myself as a writer. It didn’t help that it was all precipitated by the deaths of several important people in my life and the end of a 5-year relationship. So now I am writing and exploring the idea of death as transformation. The transformative power of death and being faced with your own mortality and how this precipitates a midlife crisis. Is it really a crisis or just a period of change? It’s a letting go and a learning to accept the inevitable and defining yourself in a way that you want to be defined as a person not as a parent or a worker but as a person. What are the dreams that were left behind during the time of mothering during that time of sustaining others and sacrificing one’s self? Now is a time to reexamine those dreams and see if they are worth pursuing. What will we leave on the roadside and what will we take on this journey to the end of our lives? What is important, what do we actually want to invest our time into for the next twenty years or more. What is the second half of our life going to be about?

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Eclectic Evelyn

Fabulous at 50 living and writing in Appalachia

Tell Me Something Good

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Eclectic EvelynLynne SpreenDeborahJoanne CoreyEvelyn Recent comment authors

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I once heard a speech at Toastmasters where the speaker referred to “the next chapter” of life. I liked that better than halves or tenths, and I liked the notion that we write our future as we go. I find it to be a less stressful way of looking forward.… Read more »

Joanne Corey

The First Half/Second Half of life concept reminds me of Richard Rohr’s book Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life. We spend a lot of the first half defining ourselves by what we do and the boxes we are placed in by society. If we are fortunate,… Read more »


The part of my life after parenting and after full-time work has been a transition for sure. I am doing things with my life but still haven’t got where I want to be. I never thought I would be blogging/writing and that has been a good thing. Especially the flash… Read more »

Lynne Spreen

This is such a rich subject. Dr. Christiane Northrup in her book “The Wisdom of Menopause” said that after menopause, after all the chemical changes have settled down and you’re no longer in baby-having/rearing mode, you are more like who you were at eleven. Before all the heady, scary, powerful… Read more »