Even the strongest of relationships have their bad moments when one or both of the couple is tired and angry and just want to give up on the whole idea. Sometimes going your separate ways is the healthiest thing for both parties; sometimes, however, a relationship can be saved and become stronger than ever before. Here are some of the main reasons why relationships fail and what to do to stop it from happening. 

 

No Trust 

Trust is perhaps the most crucial aspect of any relationship. Without it, neither party can be truly happy or relaxed, and it will be difficult for one side or the other of the couple to do their own thing without being accused of something untoward. It’s good for couples to do things separately from time to time, and each should be able to do so without feeling worried that their partners will think they’re cheating. 

 

This needs to be addressed as early as possible before this lack of trust becomes something you can no longer fix. Building trust is a distinct process and requires hard work on both sides of the relationship; after all, not only do you want to trust, but you want to be trusted as well. You will both need to listen to one another without interrupting and ensure that the relationship is a safe and secure place to be. Try to empathize with your partner and don’t attack even if you are feeling angry. Let them know what you need, but don’t order them to do things. 

 

Poor Communication 

When couples don’t communicate, it can spell the end. The problem is that people often have different ways of communicating – some tend to want to find solutions straight away, whereas others prefer to talk things through and work out what things have happened. This is where things can get complicated with both partners trying to solve the problem in different ways and finding that they just can’t work out what the other person needs or wants. 

 

By being a good listener, no matter what is being said, you can often get to the root of a problem and find a way to solve it; it’s the best of both worlds. You should also try to engage in no-fault discussions where past mistakes are not brought up; instead, you both concentrate on the future. Make sure that you acknowledge how your partner is feeling in these discussions, and the talks will go a lot more smoothly. 

 

Being Perceived To Be Selfish 

If you have been single for a long time, then transitioning from a ‘me’ point of view to a ‘we’ outlook can be hard, and it might take some time and effort. It isn’t easy for some people, and this can be seen as being selfish in the eyes of the other person who found it much easier to become a ‘we’. 

 

Perceived selfishness can come in other forms as well. One partner might drink too much or do drugs, for example, and when it comes to rehab at American Addiction Centers, they may not want to try it. Or they might want to deal with financial matters themselves. Perhaps they would rather deal with the baby feeding without requiring any help. Or whatever else the issue might be. 

 

From one point of view, these are selfish things; from another, they are simply someone living their own lives in the best way they know how. When these two standpoints fail to come together, there will be problems. When they can both soften a little, compromises (something necessary in any relationship) can be achieved, and happiness can follow. 

 

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Over 50 and fabulous living and writing in Appalachia

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