girl reaching for brownie muffin

2015 a Year of Possibilities

2015 a year full of possibilities, blessings, and abundance. This is going to be a great year!

Fifteen minute timed writing before dinner. Today has been a very productive day. We got the pantry cleaned out and all the tools sorted. We even got all the paper towels put away – an entire case. We cleaned the stove and went through some boxes under the table, I even exercised with my bike and found an elastic tube to exercise my arms and legs. Started a list of stuff we need from the store so we can have some staples laid in and a few others household things that we need to stock up on. Looking forward to my washer and dryer coming. We are going to get paint and paint the bathroom before that and we are putting up shelves in the bathroom over the laundry area. Glad that things are coming together. Excited to live in my own house again and have things situated the way I want them. Life is getting better everyday.
I am trying to deal with my anxiety – one day at a a time. I am thinking about taking the bus into town one day soon. It will be an adventure. I think I might go to the library or just somewhere to eat and then catch the bus back home. I wish I could walk like I used to then I could spend several hours in town walking around but that is something I am working on. I can walk much more then when I first moved in so it is improving. I am a work in progress.
Getting some writing in today. Not writing for speed much anymore. More writing for thoughts and context so I don’t get those big word counts each day like NaNoWriMo but I am still writing everyday. I am a writer and I write. Writing gives me a few minutes alone with my head to think and process my day. It gives me time to focus on my mind and it gives me time to really think about things in my life as well as time to put my ideas down.
Wow, Cheyenne is really loud. Her and Beth are in the kitchen making brownie muffins while I take this writing break before I cook dinner. Dinner is kraut and kielbasa in honor of cabbage and corned beef which we don’t eat. New Year’s Day you have to eat cabbage, its an Irish tradition. Cheyenne is just Cheyenne loud boisterous and everyone loves her. She got that from her Dad. She is trying to make Beth “get over” her OCD by making her not have all the same colors of muffin paper. Beth can not handle random muffin cups. They all have to be the same color. Cheyenne and Beth. Cheyenne is now pointing out all the stuff in the kitchen that does not match and has no pattern to Beth which is making her more crazy. Got to love sisters Lol.
That’s 15 minutes. The girls are still working on the muffins, so I will continue to write until they are done so I can go in there and cook dinner. The landlord is coming over to pick up the rent in a few. He is all about the money. Even on a holiday he is knocking on the door and collecting. Oh well, its all good cause we got this. The money is in the kitchen waiting for him to knock on the door.
Amber has been calling all day. She is really bad on the drugs. I wish she would get help. I try all the time but she just won’t go get help. I love her but I can’t dwell on her or it runs me crazy. Just have to let it go and not think about it. Trust the universe to watch out for her. There is some lesson her soul has to learn on this life’s journey from all this. My soul has to learn a lesson from this also, that is why she was born to me. Not sure what that lesson is for her but I think for me it is a lesson on letting go, loving from afar, and knowing that I can’t control everything, and I can’t save her from herself. She has to save herself. OK, enough on this. It makes me upset to think about it because she is my first born, my daughter, the one I was the hardest on and made all the parenting mistakes with, the one who makes me feel the guiltiest but I can’t dwell on that. I just have to accept that I did the best I could at that point in my life with the knowledge and resources I had.
I think I hear the oven door, nope just the muffin tins. Brownie muffins is what they are making. Muffins out of brownie mix. Hopefully these will be better then the first time we tried it. I made hot cornbread muffins yesterday and they are all gone. We made two dozen and ate them all. Cheyenne took some to work but we ate most of them. They were good and went really great with the paella and chicken we had last night. Me and Beth had paella for breakfast too this morning with hot cornbread muffins. Yum! yum! OK time for me to make dinner now. The brownie muffins are in the oven.

Today has been a good day. 🙂

Sharing a page from my journal for the New Year.

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