I understand now why my grandmother had the TV on all the time, even when she wasn’t watching it. After having a houseful of people for most of your life it’s really hard to be alone. The silence can be so deafening. I find that if it is too quite then the thoughts start to whirl around in my head. The dark thoughts surface and then the spiral begins. The trick is to not let the thoughts whirl to start with. That is where TV came in for my grandmother, for me its music and talk radio. Just something in the background when the silence gets too much. Most of the time my dogs and my loud neighbors provide that background noise I need but sometimes it’s just too quite. On those days when the silence builds, the wind stops, and the birds aren’t chirping, I turn on the radio or more likely youtube. I just pick something and then put it on autoplay and let it run in the background. Once, I tried one of those office noise youtube but it had muffled conversations along with the sounds of an office and I kept trying to figure out what the people were saying. Very distracting, a little too distracting, I couldn’t concentrate on writing.
Maybe I should make a playlist on Youtube or maybe something else. Any suggests?