Despair

I am tired but my mind will not rest. I can find no relief from this despair and anguish that I feel. I fear I am losing my mind to this insanity that is my body in its present state. This body that is not mine. This body that is possessed by raging heat and mind numbing sorrow. This body that shakes with anxiety at the mere thought of venturing down the street. This body that belongs to some crazed old woman.

I am a soul trapped in an illusion of humanity that rebels against all pleasure and knows only pain. A soul that has fallen so deep down the rabbit’s hole that I fear this time it may not return. My soul aches for release from this aging body of entrapment. This body that does not serve me well but only exacerbates the despair and lets the demons find the hiding places.

This body is not a temple for my soul . This body is a dungeon where my soul lurks in the shadows looking for a way to escape.

I wrote this at 6am this morning after spending another sleepless night.