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Please note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission when you make a purchase using these links. It does not affect your price but it helps support my work. Thank you! Please read the full  Disclosure Statement  


Don’t be afraid to be alone. You don’t need a man to complete you. You need a man to compliment you. If he’s not supporting you on your journey then you need to get rid of him. You are already doing it all by yourself. Stop lying to yourself and saying “If I love him enough, I know I can change him”. It’s time to love yourself and take care of you for once. Too often we spend our whole lives taking care of everyone else. The kids, the parents, the dog, the house, the man. We forget to take care of the most important person – ourselves – until it’s too late and we are overwhelmed and on the verge of throwing in the towel. It’s time to stop worrying about how clean the house is, how respectful the kids are, how sweet your man is and start worrying about YOU.

You are the most important thing in your life. Without you your life does not exist.

Virginia Woolf wrote about how every woman needs A Room of One’s Own, well I think every woman needs a life of her own. A life that is not dependent on a man.

It’s time to take a good look at that man of yours and ask yourself does he compliment me, does he support me, does he respect my space and time, if not then get rid of him. You don’t need another person to clean up after. If he is too busy watching football to even acknowledge that you are overwhelmed with the cooking, the cleaning, the kids, the dog, the grocery shopping, paying the bills, and just trying to keep it all together, then he is not complimenting you. He is just someone else you have to clean up after.

A dog can give you companionship, a visit to the local adult store can give you sex, and you can always call up a friend when you need to talk. Worried about financial security, then go out and get your own job, make your own money and spend it on yourself. So now tell me why exactly do you need that man? Love. Love you say. Well love is not dirty socks in the living room floor, love is not expecting you to have dinner ready every night, love is not downing you for the house looking like shit, and love is not ignoring your needs. Love is support. Love is complimenting your life and understanding your needs. Love is supporting your dreams. So if your man is just taking up space on the couch while you run around like a crazy woman chasing kids and doing laundry then get rid of him.

3 thoughts on “Dear Miss “I Need a Man”

  • JoAnne Silvia

    This is what I finally learned after the divorce rebounds. Dogs became much better company. Your advice it valuable for women who feel lonely, desperate and caught up in the belief they need a man. Unfortunately it’s not easy for some married women to get rid of the man who drains her and does not respect her, but hopefully she can learn to respect herself and set boundaries. I am thankful to finally have a man who respects me and complements me, but I don’t NEED him. It’s good to know I can get by on my own, if necessary. I’m glad I stopped putting up with drainers and held out for some one who is good for me. I love what you wrote about love. It’s true! And it is possible!

    • Evelyn

      Thank you for your comment. It is trully empowering when we as women realize we can do it ourselves.

  • Julie

    Yeah I did.! I stopped self-sacrificing caring about the Joneses. Medicating myself to put up with the abuse. I love being with myself in my own space. Reeducating myself detatching and setting boundaries with my kids and loving myself again instead of turning my anger inward and being depressed I took it out on the right person. My user ex. Thank E you got it right. Wish I knew this stuff 30 years ago. Teaching my daughter. There’s hope for the future!


So, what do you think?

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